Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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