i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
