literally had 100 drinks last night.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I want to have your abortion
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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