i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
