Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
