I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize