this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Randomize
