I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
