why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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