y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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