ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
