Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize