I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
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