Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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