I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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