what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
