normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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