i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
