so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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