My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize