soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
