So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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