your room smells of hookers.
And success
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
