guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
