Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
