Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
