I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
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