don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
