i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
