Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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