im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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