ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
