Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
