You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
