I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
