Need sex. Gaining weight.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
you made out with another girl for some wings
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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