During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
i just had sex bonerless
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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