i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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