You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
