they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
