My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
