Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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