Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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