you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
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