Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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