i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
