Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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