Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
