What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
