Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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