He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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