WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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