My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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