And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
