apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
