There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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