I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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