He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
