hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
