Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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