I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
