Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
