We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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