sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
should my penis look like a turkey
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
