well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
