yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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