Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
accomplished twins. life is a go
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
