so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
