I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
