Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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