the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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