please come you make the beer taste better
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
