I like my sex mixed with concussions.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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