I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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