In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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