doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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