So drunk its hurt
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize